On December 10th, at 9:06pm, I welcomed my beautiful daughter, Lily Joy Phillips, into the world.
Born two weeks early and weighing in at a mighty 5lbs 12oz, she has truly been the biggest blessing. We’ve now spent a whole month with our little rainbow baby and I finally found the time to share my birth story. As someone who has always been terrified of childbirth and also struggled with so much worry after my pregnancy loss in 2023, my hope is that this will give any mom-to-bes out there a little peace of mind as your own due date approaches.
“A miracle is really the only way to describe motherhood and giving birth. It’s unbelievable how God has made us women and babies to endure and be able to do so much. A miracle, indeed. Such an incredible blessing.” ~ Jennie Finch
12.10.24
The evening of Monday, December 9th, I went to bed around 9:30pm with a strange feeling that something big was about to happen. Call it a mother’s intuition but sure enough, around 2:30am, I awoke to what felt like mild period cramps. I initially dismissed them, thinking they were just Braxton Hicks contractions and I would let my OB know later that morning. When the cramps started coming every 30-45 minutes, I knew I most likely was in early labor.
By 5am the contractions were getting stronger and coming every 20 minutes. I called my OB’s nurse hotline around 7am asking what they recommended. Since I already had my 38 week appointment on the calendar for that morning, they told me to hold off on going to the hospital and to just go to my appointment as planned.
Bay and I put our hospital bags in the car and I reached out to a friend to see if she would be willing to watch our dogs in case we wouldn’t be coming back home that day. We then arrived at my OB’s office at 9:30am and waited for her to see me. My contractions at this point were coming quickly, around every 10 minutes, and I was starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. I shared this with my doctor who I could tell thought I was experiencing false labor. She did a cervix check and the look on her face immediately changed… turns out baby girl was very ready to go as my cervix was already 4cm dilated and 100% effaced.
“Are you ready to have a baby today?” she asked before telling us to head straight to the hospital and that she would meet us there in a few hours.
Thankfully the hospital was only a short drive from the clinic and we arrived in the parking lot around 11am. As we walked up to the entrance I felt my water break and immediately thanked myself for wearing black leggings. Once checked in we were escorted to the private labor and delivery suite where I changed into my Lila hospital gown (I highly recommend bringing your own too) and got hooked up to multiple monitors.
I knew I wanted to have an epidural eventually but was hoping to hold off as long as I could. In order to stay mobile and avoid suffering through each contraction while laying down in the hospital bed, I requested that they use the bluetooth belly monitor. I spent the next few hours walking around the room, bouncing on the birth ball, and eating handfuls of trail mix in between contractions. Around 2pm the contractions were becoming significantly more difficult to breath through. Since I was about 7cm dilated and quite tired of the pain, I decided it was time to get the epidural.
Let me tell you… the epidural is a miracle worker. I no longer felt a single contraction and was surprised to discover that I still had full mobility of my legs. All that was left to do was wait for my body to get to 10cm dilation, so Bay and I passed the time watching tv and updating family that I was in labor. By 5:45pm, the nurse let me know it was time to start pushing.
One thing I really underestimated was just how tiring it would be. Around 2.5 hours in, my doctor told me that if she didn’t see more progression she’d have to use forceps or perform a C section. I really think presenting me with that ultimatum gave me a second wind, and thirty minutes later, at 9:06pm, our little Lily said hello to the world.
I’ll never forget the feeling of seeing her for the first time. The immense relief, pure joy, and overwhelming rush of love are indescribable.
Postpartum Recovery
All in all, I’m so thankful that my labor all happened within one day and despite a small tear, I got through it without any major trauma to me or my baby. I also have to give so much credit to the labor and postpartum nurses because they were so incredibly kind and really made the experience feel so much better. In hindsight, I do think hiring a doula would have been helpful, but I’m thankful that everything worked out as it did.
We spent two days in the hospital and then headed home with our newest family member. (PS: if your hospital offers a photoshoot I highly recommend saying yes. We originally weren’t planning to partake but changed our minds last minute and I am so happy we have these photos to cherish forever)
I won’t sugarcoat it, recovery itself is no joke. It was so painful to walk, sit, stand or practically do anything for the first two weeks. My postpartum recovery essentials consisted of the Frida Mom Postpartum Recovery Kit, and Always Postpartum Underwear, all of which I highly recommend stocking up on if you’re currently pregnant. And if I can give any advice to mom-to-bes out there… give yourself time to REST when you’re newly postpartum. It really is the best medicine and your body will thank you for it. Plus you get to spend that time bonding with your baby, which is a constant reminder that it’s all worth it.
Women’s bodies are so incredible and now that I’ve hit the one month mark, I feel like I’ve fully recovered and am excited for my upcoming 6 week check up. Aside from stroller walks a couple times a week I haven’t exercised and I’m looking forward to being able to get in some daily movement again.
Celebrating One Month of Motherhood
It’s hard to believe that Lily is already a month old and how much she’s already developed. I’m so thankful that she’s healthy, eating well, gaining weight, and is such a content little newborn. I know at this point it’s more of a reflex than anything but she has even started to smile whenever she sees me first thing in the morning and my heart melts every single time.
Despite plenty of sleepless nights, Bay and I are adjusting to our new normal and making sure we give each other lots of grace, love and patience in the process. We read baby books and took several infant care courses during pregnancy but quickly realized nothing can fully prepare you for the humbling experience that is the real thing. We are learning so much every single day and I have a feeling Lily will be the most important teacher we’ve ever had.
As I reflect on these past 30 days, here are a few thoughts and lessons I’ve learned from my first moments of motherhood:
- The emotional rollercoaster you’ll experience is inevitable so be extra kind to yourself, accept the help, and reach out to friends who make you feel seen
- It’s okay to slow down and feel “unproductive” in the traditional sense. You’re keeping a human alive and that is the most important job you’ll ever have
- Don’t underestimate the power of getting outside for a little fresh air and a walk. Do it often.
- Sleep deprivation makes it hard to remember anything so using a tracking app like Huckleberry for feeding, sleeping, diaper changes, etc is SO helpful
- You’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. Every day is a learning opportunity and you’ll become more confident as time goes on
- All the little habits like taking a shower, getting dressed for the day, making your bed, etc. are GOLD for your mental health
- Trust your intuition. Everyone will have an opinion and there are a million different guides for feeding/sleeping/routines/etc… but trust that you and your partner know your baby best
- Don’t stop taking the time for things that fill your cup, even if that window of time is shorter than it was before
And perhaps the most important lesson is that this particular time as new parents is so precious. Do your best to be fully present and when things are hard, remember that everything is temporary.
It’s such a joy to see my husband embrace his role as a father and to see our fur babies, Chip and Nina, start to bond with their little sister. It may sound cliché, but it’s not lost on me that starting this new chapter of life and motherhood is such a privilege. One that I hope to never take for granted.
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